Can Babies Understand the Word “No?”

Oh, my poor son! My poor first born. They really are the test babies, aren’t they? For a couple who knew nothing about disciplining children according to the biblical model, our first son was (and still is) the lesson. We could blame it on the fact that he was 6 months old before we both knew Christ as our Lord; But, either way our son is doing well not because of our first attempts at discipline, but inspite of them.

It all started out very “innocently” (or shall I say ignorantly?) When he was a baby I had read a lot about attachment parenting and natural parenting, and gotten quite a few ideas in my head that a baby was just an innocent human being, who with the right positive reinforcement would wind up as a gentle, loving, person. HA! What little did I know. In such denial I was. If only I could have had a glimpse into the life of my future “strong willed” child.

Though honestly, I don’t know very many children who are not strong willed. Do you? So, around the time my son began to walk (at 10 months), his will began to multiply and manipulate. My husband and I already had our work cut out for us in reversing the bad habits we had taught our little monster. We had to begin teaching him discipline at 1-1.5 year old that we should have been reinforcing from the beginning.

The Lord and his Word (and the help of several other mature Christians) has helped us along the way. In that short span of time we have learned as much about parenting as we have about our own attitudes. With the birth of our second son, we were determined to do things differently. I taught baby how to go to sleep on his own. I used the wake, nurse, play, sleep cycle (as opposed to wake, play, and nurse to sleep cycle I had gotten in with our first.) We just finished night weaning at 9 months, which I think could have been acheived sooner and was done easily when baby was moved in his big brother’s room. And finally to the title of this post, we began teaching him the word “No” at about 8-9 months of age.

I had heard many times with our first, that he was too young to know what “no” meant. But, I have in fact learned from my own experience that babies can learn the word at a young age if you teach them. They know far more than they can tell you! We began with telling him no when he squirmed and wiggled during diaper changes. At first, it seems like a game to them. In a few short times during the day we would practice obedience around 8 months of age. He would squirm, and I would tell him no and set him firmly and still where I wanted him. If he would squirm, I would tell him no again and set him back. If he still didn’t get it, a light tap (and I do mean light, it doesn’t take pain to train a baby) on the booty would get his attention. I would do this until he layed still. Some babies have quite the will and will still think this is a game. The goal is the obedience during each “session”, however much patience and time it takes. Never get angry or upset. This is a learning experience for them. Praise them when they obey. Sometimes they will obey and sometimes they will test you. YES, an 8-9 month old WILL test you! In our experience, our 10 month old knows clearly what “No” means and obeys. He gets praise for listening. It is such a joy to see obedience at this young age. It is so much easier and gentler when you start early. It takes much more time and effort (and frustration) to undo the will a child acquires when they are not trained young. It must be very confusing for them, also! They are able to do anything they want with no consequence for months or even years, and all of a sudden mom and dad (and everyone else) is telling them “NO!” and expecting them to obey. Why should they believe you?

I know this was a bit of a ramble. I had many thoughts pouring out of my head that I wanted to get down!

Potty Time

Yep, we are officially potty training! It’s only natural for me to write and post about things that are going on in my life at the moment, so I wanted to compile a list (mostly for myself) of videos about going potty for kids. My son is super interested in potties right now. So, It’s potty time!

THE CRISIS IN PUBLIC EDUCATION

THE CRISIS IN PUBLIC EDUCATION

Published May. 3rd, 2008

In a recent and powerful editorial, columnist George Will quotes from the provocative 1983 report on public education, A Nation At Risk: “If an unfriendly power had attempted to impose on America the mediocre educational performance that exists today, we might well have viewed it as an act of war.” We are now 25 years after this National Commission’s report. How are we doing? In one very real sense, the US has bought a lie: That education is the answer to all social problems. It is not! Public education cannot compensate for the disintegration of the family and its horrifying effect on children. Will writes: “No [educational] reform can enable schools to cope with the 36.9% of all children and 69.9% of black children today born out of wedlock, which means among many other things, a continually renewed cohort of unruly adolescent males.” Throwing money at schools will not solve that problem. In 1966 a controversial report was published that proved rather conclusively that “the qualities of the families from which children come to school matter much more than money as predictors of schools’ effectiveness. The crucial denominator of problems of race and class—fractured families—would have to be faced.” But the US government and the entire educational establishment have ignored that truth. Will writes: “In 1976, for the first time in its 119-year history, the National Educational Association, the teachers union, endorsed a presidential candidate, Jimmy Carter, who repaid it by creating the Education Department, a monument to the premise that money and government programs matter most. At the NEA’s behest, the nation has expanded the number of teachers much faster than the number of students has grown. Hiring more, rather than more competent, teachers meant more dues-paying union members. For decades, schools have been treated as laboratories for various equity experiments. Fads incubated in educational schools gave us ‘open’ classrooms, teachers as ‘facilitators of learning’ rather than transmitters of knowledge, abandonment of a literary canon in the name of ‘multiculturalism,’ and so on, producing a majority of high school juniors who could not locate the Civil War in the proper half-century.” The educational crisis in the US is a crisis in reasoning. For some reason, we believe that spending great amounts of money will produce better test scores and better citizens. What the US is ignoring is that education of children is the intersection of three of God’s choicest institutions—the family, the church and the state. We have bought the lie that the state can do it better, ignoring the family, which is now thoroughly dysfunctional, and the faith community. The ones who are suffering the most are of course the children! Our need is not necessarily for more money for education; it is for teachers who have deep-seated faith and who see children the way God sees them; and a state that sees the importance of the family and faith as necessary ingredients in raising children. Until and unless everyone has that perspective, our educational system is doomed to ultimate failure. See Will’s essay in the Washington Post (24 April 2008).

Bored?!?!

My son is a typical toddler boy. He can’t sit still and he needs to be busy all of the time! Needless to say it has been a challenge keeping him occupied and not getting himself into trouble on those long days when daddy is working 12 hours. I’ve gotten a few crafts and ideas under my belt in the last week, and I thought I would share.

Pudding Paint

If there is one thing that all toddlers love to do, it’s make a mess. This makes a great activity for morning or afternoon snack time. Mix up a package of pudding (we like chocolate ) and get out paper or posterboard. It’s easier than making finger paint and you don’t have to worry about them eating it. In fact, I encourage eating of the paint! This can be a fairly easy cleanup with an old vinyl table cloth thrown over the table. It can be rolled up with all of the pudding and wiped down outside or sprayed off.

Mailbox: Cut a mail slot into a large cardboard box and give your toddler all your old junk mail.

Cereal Bracelets – All you need is old yarn/shoe laces and colorful cereal (fruit loops, apple jacks, etc). Again, these are edible and make a great snack time craft!

Help me Cook/Messy Trays

Encourage your little cook to help you in the kitchen. Seat them at the table with several assorted bowls, cups, and measuring spoons. Fill each bowl with various “ingredients” including colorful pasta, dried beans, rice,  (if you don’t mind getting the vacuum out afterward), cereal, etc. My son would sit for hours and scoop up ingredients, moving them from bowl to bowl. This is a great activity to keep little ones busy while you cook supper. Tell them that you need their help to make dinner.

Make a Cardboard playhouse

If you are feeling ambitious, gather the tape, scissors, glue, and a couple of big cardboard boxes (you can contact your local grocery store/warehouse store to arrange pickup of a few large boxes), and make a cardboard playhouse. Cut out a door and a couple of windows. Have your toddler help you color it and decorate it with stickers and cutouts.

My Learning Poster

Yesterday I has do much fun sitting down to make this learning poster for my son. I got the idea for the poster from Brightly Beaming Resources under the Preparatory Curriculum plan. In their outline of the free curriculum you have a theme and elements to your learning poster each week. Since Gregory is not yet 2, we will probably be taking a bit longer to switch between themes, shapes, letters, and numbers. Gregory is already getting more excited about his letters and numbers. We say our ABCs and count as much as possible. Yesterday him and daddy took a glider airplane ($1 at Dollar Tree right now) to the park to fly. He had so much fun counting to 3 and saying “go!” for daddy to throw the airplane.

Play Dough

Bored? Stuck inside? Need something to entertain the kids? Make play dough!

Mister Rogers’ Easy Play Dough 

• 2 cups flour
  
• 1 cup water
  

Mix together well. You can put dry Kool-Aid or Jell-O in the mix if you want colored dough.

Find more play dough recipes here.

Why You Should Be Concerned About Public Education

Most information is from The How & Why of Home Schooling by Ray E. Ballmann.

There are those who ask, “Why should I be concerned about public education and it’s direction? Why not let the educators handle their own problems?”

First, the bloated public education bureaucracy is extremely expensive. It digs deeply into the pockets of our working population. Taxpayers do not want to see their hard-earned dollars squandered and frivolously spent. We have a right to want a good return on our educational investment. Considering that public education is the second-largest industry in America, with well over two million classroom teachers, the largest union in the world, and the second-largest budget in government, why should we settle for an inferior job?

Second, we should be concerned because many of the recent products of our educational system are apparently illiterate and ill-equipped to handle even the most basic demands of life. Consider these appalling facts:

Twenty-five million adults cannot read the poison warnings on a can of pesticide, a letter from their child’s teacher, or the front page of a daily paper. An additional thirty-five million read only at a level which is less than equal to the full survival needs of our society. Together, these sixty million people represent more than one third of the entire population.

Given a paycheck and the stub that lists the usual deductions, 26 percent of adult Americans cannot determine if their paycheck is correct. Thirty-six percent, given a W-4 form, cannot enter the right number of exemptions in the proper places on the form. Forty-four percent, when given a series of “Help Wanted” ads, cannot match their qualifications to the job requirements. Twenty-two percent cannot address a letter well enough to guarantee that it will reach its destination. Twenty-four percent cannot add their own correct return address to the same envelope. Twenty percent cannot understand an “Equal Opportunity” announcement. Over 60 percent, given a series of “For Sale” advertisements for products new and used, cannot calculate the difference between prices for a new and used appliance. Over 20 percent cannot write a check that will be processed by their banker – or will be processed in the right amount. Over 40 percent are unable to determine the correct amount of change they should receive, given a cash register receipt and the denomination of the bill used for payment.

With results like these how can anyone not be concerned? If this trend continues, where will our nation be in a few short years? Students who graduate illiterate and ill-equipped to face life not only hurt themselves, but they also adversely affect those around them.

…to be continued…

Budget Homeschool Links

Here are some valuable links that my sister has introduced me to. My favorite is the Calvary Chapel Children’s Ministry Curriculum. It’s an entire curriculum of study for children on the old and new testament bible stories, and best of all it’s free (and reproducable for non-sale use)!

Budget Homeschool

Don Potter Education Page (free resources)

Learn to Read at Starfall

Children & Families – Building Character

Calvary Chapel Children’s Ministry Curriculum